I love the illustration Dwight gives about the difference between rules and relationship. He says, “I’m married to Debra. When I come home at night, I don’t kiss the marriage certificate, I kiss Debra. I’m not married to marriage. I’m married to Debra. We have a relationship.”
Relationship is built on love, not rules. The more I love Dwight, the more I want to please him. The more Dwight loves me, the more he wants to please me. His love for me causes my love for him to grow even more.
Now, every relationship will have “rules”; but, they neither drive relationship nor define it. Or, at least they shouldn’t.
Rules do not require love. They just require adherence and punishment. Follow the rules and you don’t get punished. Break a rule, and you are punished. And, the rules enforcer receives some sort of gratification that you are punished.
When you got saved, you entered into a relationship with God. He is your Father. He’s not your sheriff. And, His Word is His love letter to you. It’s not your rule book.
Do you want to know how deeply God loves you? First of all, He placed on Jesus the condemnation of your sin – while you were still in sin. And then, He sent the Holy Spirit to reveal to your need of redemption. And, as a child of God, the Holy Spirit came to indwell you to lead you (see Galatians 3:1-3). And none of that – not one iota of that – has to do with your works, just your faith. And, that doesn’t even tell the whole story of how much He loves you.
God is not up in heaven holding a rule book and a big mallot, waiting to bonk you on the head when you mess up. He already knew you were a screw up, and that’s why Jesus’ sinless blood was required on your behalf so that you could have a relationship with God.
Can I tell you a secret? The more you focus on the fact that God loves you, the less you are going to mess up. The Bible tells us that, that as we behold Him, we are being changed from glory to glory…and that we are to keep our eyes on Jesus Who is both the Author and the Finisher of our faith. That’s a relationship.
In our marriage relationship, sometimes I just need to let Dwight love me. To sit next to him on the sofa and allow him to put his arm around me, stroke my hair, kiss my forehead, and make me remember that he is not going to let anything harm me. That he is my champion. That he believes in me. That I can let go of my cares because he cares about me.
Relationship with God is like that. But even better. Much better. The “humble yourself” part is to let Him put His arms around you and to allow Him to be your Champion. To know that it’s okay to need His love. To admit that you need Him.
The next time you pick up your Bible, say out loud, “God, I want to take some time to read about You and me.” If you’ll do that every time, you’ll find it much easier to live the life you see in the Word. And, you’ll discover the wondrous relationship that you’re in with God. That discovery will move you to worship Him even more. To let down your walls and pour out your love on Him.
Rules aren’t worthy of your kisses.
The Real Deb 